Judy Dressler, age 66 years old: Caregiver, Brave Survivor
“ When my mother speaks of her time in Africa, tears frequently
come into her eyes. As I have watched her travels the last couple years, especially
to Africa, I must admit my joy for her adventures has been tinged with a little
envy. Africa is a life goal for me also. Observing her pass through the different
stages of her life, I can only
say that she is an incredibly brave, warm and caring woman. I am extremely
proud to be her daughter. - Sandy Block - daughter, wife, mother
of two, Veterinarian (Sandy’s household also includes an old cocker spaniel
named Peanut, Salsa the cat, and BeeGee the horse)
Note from the Outdoor Neophyte: Judy Dressler sits facing me, nestled into the opposite corner of the couch in my living room. The same thought keeps going through my mind as I listen to her talk: “What fun it must have been growing up with her for a mom." Only 5’1” tall, her bright blue eyes radiate an electric spark for life and living. Judy defines the word indomitable.
Recently, in Australia, her travel group was given the optional activity of bungee jumping off a high bridge. Her companions said, “Judy, we thought sure you would be one of the first ones to try jumping!” As you listen to Judy, you get caught up in her enthusiasm and love for adventure. It’s easy to see why her friends figured her for a bungee jumper. On the other hand, as you get deeper into her stories, you can clearly see why her travel companions were wrong. An artful blend of responsible-adult and adventurer, she’s too busy “doing life” to risk a foolish injury!
Here is Judy’s Story:
Growing up at the end of the Great Depression and during World War II, spare change didn’t exist for extras like bus fare. Consequently, my whole family became great walkers. A short, string bean, I’d amble a mile and a half to the library, and lug back seven or eight adventure books. Or, my cousin Audrey who is eight years older, and I would hike six miles down to Lake Michigan, stick our toes in the water and hike home again. I played no sports; reading books was my first love. Those were the days when movies were half-day affairs: newsreels, cartoons, previews and feature films. Admission was a dime and popcorn a nickel. Dreams of myself climbing mountains were free.
My mother, like myself, was tiny but a super-cautious soul. My father, in contrast, had been a paratrooper in the 82nd Airborne, he oozed adventure. Some of his daredevil spirit must have rubbed off onto me. Climbing the big ones, like Mount Everest, did not seem unachievable to me as a child. Nor did visions of myself wearing a pith helmet exploring the pyramids of Egypt.
At the age of 20 I married; by 28 years old, I was the mother of four children, reaping all the joys, as well as, all the worries motherhood entails. My husband’s job necessitated his traveling away from home much of the time. In those days, this was less common than it is now. Women would often ask, “Judy, how do you manage being by yourself with four children?” I’ll admit, it wasn’t easy, but the job description I’d taken on –motherhood- never mentioned “easy.” Accepting that responsibility certainly toughened me up for what eventually lay ahead.
Unlike me, my husband never enjoyed travel or museums. For four years, however, while the children were growing up, we had the privilege of living in Brussels. Virtually no English was spoken in the community where we lived. The children and I took advantage of every opportunity we could to take in the sights. Brussels is so centrally located that I could put the children in school in the morning, drive to Germany for the day and still be home for supper! Those were wonderful adventures; the kids and I still reminisce. During the last six months of our stay in Europe, my husband was transferred to Paris. Unwilling to move the children out of school for such a short time, I opted, once again, to stay with them alone. He’d come home some weekends; sometimes I’d go to Paris for a few days. Toward the very end of our stay, he and I talked about the fact that he had never set foot in the Louver. I begged him to take advantage of the most famous museum in the world, to appease me, if for no other reason. Finally, he agreed and put it on his schedule. Steeling himself for a boring afternoon, you can only imagine his delight when he arrived to see the sign on the door: “Museum Closed Tuesdays.” When he finally left France for the United States, he had still not had the pleasure of meeting Mona Lisa!
In the forty years of our marriage, my husband and I estimated, that we had lived by ourselves for a total time of only one year. During the last five years of my mother’s life, she was ill with Alzheimer’s. Taking her into my home, I provided care for her. My husband was then diagnosed with cancer and for three years I nursed him promising that I would never put him into a nursing home. While he was not completely aware towards the end, I kept my word. Then, my oldest daughter became very ill and died ten months after my husband.
Many people my age know the pain of such loss. In the face of such sorrow, and an empty house, a person is forced to search once again for a purpose in life. Pills can’t make the pain of such depression go away. Finding God, in my case, filled a large part of the void. Recognizing my own self-importance filled the rest. No longer responsible for giving care to others, it was time to give care to myself. It required finding a new way of living. Eventually, I learned to say, “I am worth it.”
Revisiting my youthful dreams I found comfort in adventure. Even though I was overweight and out of shape from being housebound with sick family members, on medication for high cholesterol and high blood pressure, and suffering from allergies and severe asthma, I decided to pack up and go for it! “I am worth it” became my mantra. Everest was not an option, but travel with a tour group seemed a reasonable alternative. Costa Rica was my first port of call, followed by British Columbia across Canada by train to Vancouver Island. Most recently, New Zealand and Australia have provided landscapes and experiences I dreamed about all my life. My cousin Audrey, who is now age 72 years old, accompanied me on the Canadian and Pacific Rim trips. Previous to leaving for New Zealand, Audrey had never left North America. She is a great companion and traveler, taking delays and snafus in stride. Together, finding yogurt shops for Audrey in foreign countries has become one of our favorite missions!
Africa proved to be the experience of a lifetime. Everything I had ever read or seen in pictures was waiting there for me. The most magical two days and nights of my life were spent in Kusini Camp in Tanzania. Simply, it was otherworldly. Civilization, as we know it, worries, cares, agendas disappeared, replaced by a landscape filled with exotic creatures and sounds. Seated in comfortable chairs around a glowing evening campfire, we feasted like Rajas. Stars in the perfectly clear night sky of Africa were like none I had ever seen, an intense, brightly studded carpet When we retired for the night, guards tied our tents shut so the baboons could not undo the flaps and join us. A Maasai positioned himself on a Kopje - stone post - as lookout the entire night to ward off prowling wildlife. Each person was given a whistle to blow if they wanted or needed to leave the tent during the night. I will never forget awaking to the sounds of loud barking, like angry dogs, which I learned the next morning, was two male gazelles sorting things out in the pitch-black night
In
the morning we saw a pond with hundreds of brightly colored parakeets. Sitting
in the Safari jeep on the Serengeti, gazing across the enormous plain with its
flat-topped acacia trees and wildlife, I cried. The beauty was so powerful;
I wanted, more than anything, to share it with my loved ones. Truly, anyone
would be captivated.
From the southern tip of Africa I flew to Egypt and thrilled at actually being in the Great Pyramid of Cheops and Abu Simbel on the Sudanese border. Gliding down the Nile, my senses were flush with experience after experience of dreams coming true.
My advice to anyone, in circumstances similar to mine, who ever longed for adventure, is that it is never too late. Explore the options: plan to accommodate whatever physical limitations you may have. Leave the excuses in the dust – not enough time, never enough money, not fit enough. The time is now and you are worth it.
Enjoy!